It's 5 o'clock in the morning, and his alarm goes off.
I'm already awake.
I already know the routine;
Hit snooze button at least 5 times, wake only half way and pull me close to him, drag naked body out of bed and stand motionless by the window with a vacant expression for 2 minutes...
I listen to the shower run for almost half an hour; sometimes he falls asleep standing up.
He puts his uniform on, leaving it sloppy, but clean.
And then the part of his routine I never understand....
He crawls back into bed with me, not to sleep, but to watch me.
He pulls me to him like he fears he may never see me again and whispers... "I hate leaving you."
In those precious few minutes, I feel as though I'm some kind of one and only...
He really loved me once.
I'd give all my hours, and all my lovers back; to feel again, what those few minutes made me feel with him.
I tell myself to remember that...
and if the time should ever come again that someone adores you as much as he did;
tell him not to go.
March 22, 2007