Strange how the new fire burns half as much as the old one
even though it's twice as bright
Strange how in the few moments I was so unlike myself
I was more myself than I've ever been
It is likely, that I will convince myself this never happened
close myself up again
and go on playing the wiser of fools
Strangest of all is that a ghost could be more familiar to me
than my own natural self
yet by this haunting...
I am made acutely aware of just how alive I really am
with or without my need to kill

The Blood Well

When I broke my promise... it took me 10 miles into the woods
Dangerously close to the old tree house
Close enough to smell the rot of your doll collection
And a path to the well
What did you call that place?
ad patres
This is where all things come to end
Each branch of the tree; limb for limb
A family and lifetime of dark secrets
Whispered to the dead
Trapped inside their coffins
When I broke my promise... I went to the well
I drew from it the blood of our family legacy
It made me strong
It made me feel like for my part...
I was meant to be here just like this
Just like the snake in the garden

Dead on Dead

In this moment

my hour of despair

I held the corpse of a child

with scarlet locks of hair

I closed my eyes and prayed
then put the needle in
put daisies over her eyes

and kissed her baby skin

Three Way

Sex toys and shy boys
Whips and chains and Polaroids
Make it fast but make it last
Take me rape me it's a blast!

Stealing Face

1310 till the bottle is dead

I'm underground where I made my bed

6 feet down where the dirt gets fed

I'm going to sleep till they find my head

1510 when the wormies crawl in

The wolfies will howl till he eats my sin

The wolfies will howl and the preacher will begin

I'm going to sleep but world'll still spin

1310 till I can't come back

My face was stolen for a midnight snack

6 feet down where the earth looks black

I'm going to sleep

I'm going to sleep

I'm going to sleep

Summer Fling

It started with an impulse
this twisted little attraction
A desire to pull the mask away
and exploit his reaction
who am i
Is the game we play
or
who are you to me?
He comes here to enslave the weak
She cums like she's on E
so many kinds of lovers
fucking, fighting, faking
so many ways to be yourself
broken, biting, or baiting
It takes away the boredom
Replaces it with truth
It ate my face for three whole weeks
That's SO un-fucking-couth!
SW you're my Summer Fling
disturbing and so crass
but thanks for giving me a public place
to watch stranger get raped in the ass!

Purge

I feel you inside me: parasite, worm, demon
Clinging to the ribcage
Swelling inside my belly and behind my eye sockets
Twisting your wormish body around my vital organs
Milking my blood supply slowly like a kitten
Sleeping inside the folds of my brain, and hatching your disease
You've laid your eggs on all my living cells
Taken all my nourishment and replaced it with your black potion

I will feed you to the toilet backwards
I will stab at your wormish body with an ice pick
My veins will bleed your babies into the carpet
A starving body will harvest nothing
Miles of desert with no hope of rain
I let you in
I fatten you up
And then I kill you

Shrinking

Shrinking
I know my bones are under there
I heard them crying out to me
They have been buried for two decades now
Knowing
The butterfly is more beautiful than the caterpillar
The mysteries of life are more desirable than an open heart
It is the chase that quickens the pulse, not the meal

Some Day

Some day I'll settle all my debts
Tie up all my loose ends
And set sail

I'll Leave no trace
No forwarding address
I'll throw my cell phone into the ocean

My life is not for waiting
My life is not for hesitating

Some day I'll slip quietly out of the room
Close this door forever
And set sail

Secret

You're dangerous
Evocative of the original sin
A habit that borders on addiction

My experience of you has become visceral
Cautious, as a beast hunting in the daylight hours
Feline instinct beneath the skin of a snake

I vibrate under habitual release
Wet, and paper thin at my center
I feel you pressing against me with the weight of your need

Secret and intimate
Exhilarating
Fixation

Collapsing breathless

I have lost my voice again